The Package
One day, a package comes in the mail. It’s from your cousin Anna! What could be inside? Wow! It’s a check for your birthday! How thoughtful!
Imagine the same scenario, but …
One day, a package comes in the mail. It’s from your cousin Bella! What could be inside? Wow! It’s a fur hat for your birthday! I live in Florida!! Who needs a fur hat in Florida?
What do you need?
In the above scenarios, both Anna and Bella actually care about you and want to help you. They really want to get you something that you need. The difference is that Anna knew what you needed, while Bella did not.
Over the past few posts, we have been discussing the 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People. So far, we have seen these habits:
- Love and care
- Attentive and available
- Able and unstoppable
However, even if a person cares about you, is attentive and available, and is able to help you, she can’t assist you if she doesn’t know what you really need!
Who knows better?
I remember visiting my cousins once when I was a kid. My mother and my aunt were discussing some recent news in my cousin’s school. One girl was allergic to peanuts, and the whole school went peanut-free in order to accommodate her.
“After all,” my aunt explained, “every child deserves to go to school.”
My young cousin, listening to the exchange, replied in outrage, “What do you mean? No child deserves to go to school!!”
If it were up to the kids, they would forget about school, eat pizza and ice cream at every meal, and stay up all night every night. They can’t understand why those mean adults keep insisting on study, sleep, and good nutrition!
But what would happen if parents let kids do anything they wanted? Would that be good for them? Is that really what they need?
Part of being a dependable parent is giving a child what he needs, even if he does not like it, even if he does not think he needs it!
Do we really know what we need?
One night I took out pajamas for my three year old to wear. She came down a few minutes later, crying. She must have put both feet into the same pant leg, and her shorts were all the way up around her waist.
“Why did you give this to me?” she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It’s not good, why did you give it to me!”
The pajamas I gave her were just fine; she just didn’t know how to put them on!
Who really knows what we need?
Everything Hashem gives us is exactly what we need. But like my three year old, sometimes we just don’t know how to use it properly. Or maybe we fail to recognize that what we got was what we needed.
We wish we could do anything we want. If only we could fulfill our every desire! But is that really what we need?
Thankfully, Hashem is dependable to take care of our needs. Sometimes this feels great, like having food to eat and a place to sleep. Sometimes it is difficult, like insult or illness. But in every case, it is just what we need. One day, we may see that what we got was really just perfect. Or we may never understand.
Practical Bitachon
- In what ways do you see that Hashem knows what you need?
- Think about a situation where you got something other than what you thought you needed, but it really turned out to be just right.
- When you can’t see how your situation can possibly be what you need, consider this story from Rabbi Yisroel Reisman’s book, Pathways of the Prophets (p.170):
A man walks into shul for Maariv one night, visibly disturbed about something. The Rav goes over to him after Maariv and asks him what is wrong. The man tells him that he was supposed to fly to Europe that night, and he got stuck in traffic and missed the flight. He could not get onto another flight, and he was stuck in America.
“I have to cancel all of my meetings,” the man moans. “I’ll ruin my business. Why did this have to happen to me?”
“What would happen,” asks the Rav, “if you wake up tomorrow and read in the newspaper that the flight crashed, and all 450 people on board died. What would you do then?”
“I would give a kiddush!” the man exclaims. “I would be delighted that I missed the flight.”
“You rasha [(wicked person)]!” the Rav responds. “Do 450 people have to die for you to see Hashem’s Hand in your life? Do you have to kill 450 people to say ‘thank you’ to Hashem?
“Do the world a favor. Let those people live, and just see Hashem’s Hand in your missed flight.”
I have been amazed in my life how many times Hashem has diverted my "plans" and the way things work out could not have been more appropriate!
ReplyDeleteI was supposed to go to Israel for the year after high school but was not able to for reasons outside my control. I was very upset at the time, but ended up having a great college experience, and would not have met my husband if things didn't work out as they did... which means I wouldn't be here in Jax:)
We are certainly glad you came to Jacksonville!!
DeleteWe also ended up in Jacksonville as though "pushed" here by Hashem. We thought Jacksonville was really small (it actually feels less small than we expected), and didn't even want to interview here.
To make a long story short, after interviewing, getting the job, and turning it down, we ended up finally accepting and moving to Jacksonville.
B"H, it is now 7 years later, and we are very glad to have become part of this wonderful, warm, growing community! It has proven to be a fabulous place for us to raise our children and for our own personal growth. The weather and the beautiful environment are a lovely bonus!