In a post last week, I asked which everyday situations might better be handled with Bitachon (see Feeling Stressed? See How Bitachon Can Help!).
Suri insightfully answered, “…cases of the should haves.”
This a common scenario where we beat ourselves up about the things we should have done or should have thought of, even though we obviously didn’t.
It is my job to do my best. Once I have done that, I do not need to worry about what I should have or could have done differently. If Hashem had wanted me to succeed, then I would have thought of the thing I should have thought of! If I didn’t, it’s because I wasn’t meant to.
The following true story about a young kollel couple is a fabulous example of this concept in real life:
Click here to read Bitachon Workshop: No Regrets
Wow! That is Bitachon!
A special thanks to my husband for finding this story and the Bitachon Workshop!
Great story!
ReplyDelete"I should have..." is such an automatic response.
Any ideas good, catchy, counter to it, in line with what we are learning? I do "gam zu ltova, maybe next time!" I think having something rote and automated as a response to "should have" stops that train of thought short;)
Yep, it definitely helps to have a prepared response. This keeps us from getting flustered or caught off-guard. I don't know about catchy, maybe one of our reAders has an idea! Obviously, different responses may be appropriate in different types of situations. I like the plain and simple "I guess I wasn't meant to have this" or "It seems that I didn't need this after all"(If I needed it, then I would have it).
DeleteOr consider, "I can just do my best, then Hashem does the rest".
Thats a great story. It is so easy to regret decisions made in the past and come up with statements like "How could I have been so stupid" or "If only I had chosen differently". I never thought about these things as a lack of bitachon or in fact anything to do with my relationship with Hashem, I always thought of this as more as having to do with my relationship with myself.
ReplyDeleteI guess thats the point though, that our relationship with Hashem is intimately connected with our relationship with ourself
Thank you for this excellent insight, Ricki!
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