Friday, June 29, 2012

Weight Lifting: Practical Bitachon

My friend, a certified personal trainer, has been telling me for years how important weight-lifting is.  I finally decided it was time to do something about it.  So I found several articles about weight-lifting for beginners.  I read up all about how to start with what you can handle and increase resistance, the importance of good form, and how much better free weights are than machines.

Well, I’m glad that’s done and out of the way!

What did you say?  Did I leave something out?  Oh.  You mean just reading about it is not enough?  I have to actually do it too?

Research, information, and even inspiration are a great place to start.  But if you want to exercise your muscles, you have to do, you have to practice, you have to work.

In order to reap the benefits of Bitachon, you need to do Bitachon.

How do you do Bitachon?

Bitachon means accepting that Hashem is running the show, and that He knows what He’s doing.  So doing Bitachon means replacing my knee-jerk reaction with a new Bitachon reaction.  It means letting my actions reflect my new attitude.  Instead of getting angry or stressed about the situation, I remain calm and accepting.

But I don’t really feel accepting.  Isn’t that hypocritical?

That’s the beauty of a workout.  You don’t have to feel strong in order to go to the gym.  It’s not hypocritical to exercise when your muscles are weak; that’s why you’re there!  When you practice saying “Everything Hashem does is for the best” or “If it’s Your will, Hashem, then it’s my will too,” you are building your Bitachon muscles.

Why do dressing up, getting busy, and smiling help turn your bad mood into a good mood?  When we act a certain way, we begin to actually feel that way too.  After enough repetitions of “Whatever I have I need, whatever I need I have,” you will eventually begin to feel that this is true!

Start small and increase

If you want to begin a weight lifting regimen, you do not begin with a one hundred pound weight.  You start with the maximum you can lift, maybe five or seven pounds, and then increase the load as your muscles strengthen.  When you begin a Bitachon regimen, use your new skills as often as you can within your current ability.  Congratulate yourself every time you remember to think or act with a Bitachon attitude, but don’t try to lift one hundred pounds right away!  There are different levels of trust.  Work from wherever you are now, and you will climb slowly.

Practical Bitachon

Here is an scenario where things don’t go according to (your) plan:

You hurry out of the house and into the car.  You have some very important business to take care of today.  You get into the driver’s seat, turn the key in the ignition, and … nothing.

Knee-jerk reaction:  “Now my whole day is ruined!  Why do these things always happen to me?”  This is followed by a huge load of stress and blaming someone else for the terrible mishap.

Bitachon reaction:  “I thought I needed to do these important things today.  I guess that either I was not meant to take care of these things today, or I will have to find an alternate way of accomplishing them.  I can’t understand why this had to happen, but I trust that if God felt it must be this way, then there must be a good reason.”  This is followed by calmly dealing with the situation.

Post a comment below to share some other opportunities you have encountered for practicing these skills, and appropriate Bitachon reactions (even if that was not your reaction in real life).

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Would You Trust the Tooth Fairy?

Imagine for a moment that you needed to hire someone to do an important job, like a financial advisor or a babysitter for your little one.  Would you trust the Tooth Fairy to do the job?

Now, you are probably saying to yourself, “That is very silly!  The Tooth Fairy does not even exist!”  It would surely be foolish to trust someone fictitious with any task, let alone such an important one!

This is why Emunah, knowledge of Hashem’s existence, is such a crucial prerequisite to Bitachon (see Bitachon: What it isn’t, What it is for a definition of Bitachon).  If I am going to trust that everything Hashem’s does is for a reason and is in my best interest, I had better be convinced of His existence and involvement in this world!

What if I don’t know Hashem?

This leads us to a big problem: many people are not so sure that God really exists.  Even if you think that God probably exists, and even live your life accordingly, you may still harbor doubts, often or occasionally.  You may feel pretty certain that God created and runs the world, but do not live your daily life with that constant awareness.

The good news is that there are specific things you can do to increase your belief in and awareness of God.

  • Look at nature

    When you watch a breathtaking sunset or view a stunning mountain range, it is impossible to imagine that these things are the product of chance rather than design.  Just as you would think it ludicrous for a Shakespeare novel or  Beethoven symphony to have emerged accidentally on its own, it is crazy to believe that this amazing world is without a Creator.

    I still remember the chemistry class I took in college.  I watched the teacher sketch on the board how the different elements combine, demonstrating how everything on this earth works together to make all things that we need. I felt incredibly awed by the wondrous complexity and detail that comprises all that we take so for granted.

  • Think about the human body

    The human body is really just another wonder of nature.  But I list this separately because when you think about all the intricate systems that are needed for our bodies to function, you will realize that surely we were created with tremendous care, and did not just evolve by chance.

    Imagine what would go into creating a robot that mimicks a human being and all of its functions!  What a wondrous machine it would be that could see, hear, speak, and feel!  Certainly it would take careful design and planning!  And what amazing machines are the bodies we sometimes take for granted, which even have souls in them!

    After birth, I marvel at the tiny little infant that was inside me just moments before.  And sometimes I look at a grown person and think, “Wow, that person was once a tiny creature inside of his mother!”

    Incredible!

  • See God when things are going well

    Make it a habit to recognize that God is behind everything that happens to you.  When you make all the green lights, notice that God let things go your way.  If the results of a test were favorable, realize that God decided it should be so.  When the kids play nicely instead of fighting, view it as a gift from Hashem.

  • Talk to Hashem

    Whether you choose to engage in traditional prayer or informal conversation with God, you will increase your awareness that He is right there with you all the time.  Ask Hashem to help you (“Please help me find my toddler’s other shoe”), and remember to thank Him when He helps you out (“Thanks for getting the stain out of my favorite outfit!”).

Don’t trust the Tooth Fairy, she isn’t really there!  Look for God; you will see Him everywhere.

Post a comment to share how you increase your awareness of Hashem, where you find Him in everyday life, or how you like to connect with God!

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Feeling Stressed? See How Bitachon Can Help

Research indicates that there is an inverse relationship between trust in God and stress.  This means that people who increase their trust in God will also decrease their stress levels.  (For more information on studies correlating trust in God and anxiety, click here).

What Causes Stress

Stress is your body’s reaction to perceived threat.  In other words, there is an overwhelming challenge and you feel you have little or no control over the situation.  The result is stress, worry, and anxiety.

Aside from being unpleasant, stress is also detrimental to your physical and psychological well-being.  Stress can lead to disease and depression.

The Cause and Effect Illusion

The world appears to operate on a system of cause and effect:

  • I made a lot of money because I worked hard, had a brilliant idea, or learned great marketing strategies.
  • I am not sick because I exercise and eat healthy foods.
  • I got a great job because I am smart, I studied hard, or I made the right connections.

The cause and effect illusion leads us to believe that we are in charge of our destiny.  We are in for a rude awakening when we discover that we do not have as much control as we thought we had.

Money may be lost, health may deteriorate, and jobs may be terminated even despite our best efforts.  We are not in control.

Who’s in The Driver’s Seat?

Trusting in Hashem requires a shift in attitude.  My fate is not determined by chance, nor is it in my control.  Everything that happens to me, good or bad, is orchestrated by Hashem.  While my efforts can affect the outcome (yep, I still have to do my best), ultimately, it is God who calls the shots.

When I recognize that Hashem is driving my life, there is no room for stress or worry.  I know that He will only do what is best for me, so whatever happens will be good (even if it doesn’t seem that way).  I trust in God and accept whatever He has in store for me.

Practical Bitachon

So next time your child misbehaves, your car won’t start, or dinner gets burnt, you can choose to feel stress, or you can choose to accept.

Practice saying “I accept Your will, Hashem” when things don’t go your way.  After saying this a few times, you really will!

What other everyday situations do you think might be handled better with Bitachon?

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Monday, June 25, 2012

Bitachon: What it isn't, What it is

Trust in God

Literally, the Hebrew word Bitachon means trust or security.
When used in Jewish philosophy, Bitachon refers specifically to trust in Hashem.

There is often confusion regarding this concept.

Common misconceptions about Bitachon:

  • Bitachon means believing in Hashem (false)

    The correct term to refer to belief in God is Emunah. Indeed, Emunah, the belief that God exists, is essential to attaining trust in Hashem.
    But Emunah, belief, and Bitachon, trust, are two distinct concepts.  (I hope to elaborate more on Emunah in another post).

  • If you trust in Hashem, then everything will be okay

    I guess this one depends on your definition of okay.  If okay means that everything will turn out the way you want it to, then this statement is false.   If okay means that whatever God does is okay with you, then maybe you’re onto something …

  • Don’t worry, God will take care of it

    Trust in God is not an excuse to be lazy.   You don’t need to worry, but you do need to make a reasonable effort.

All for the Best

What Bitachon really means is that Hashem knows what is best for me, and will only do what is in my best interest.

Admittedly, sometimes this may be in conflict with what I think is best for me.   Bitachon tells me that I need to trust that God knows better.  Nothing happens by chance.

Even when I see Bad with my own eyes, it is really Good dressed up in disguise!

Photo by Carlos Smith
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