In The 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People, I concluded the post with the question:
What qualities would make you feel you could depend on someone?
Karen responded, “… consistency is really important to trust someone.”
Obviously, when we talk about consistency as a virtue, we refer to the positive use of consistency. Contrast these scenarios:
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When I was in High School, I used to walk to school with my friend Chavi (not her real name). We agreed that she would pick me up each day at 7:50 AM.
Every morning, even before 7:50, Chavi would knock on my door. Over four years of High Shchool, I don’t remember her ever being late. I could always count on her to be ready and on time.
You are an important business executive. You have an important meeting in another city, and need to get there on time.
NeverOnTime Airlines has some great fares, and you nearly book your ticket with them. Then you hear that their flights are habitually delayed or canceled.
Would you depend on this airline to get you there on time?
A teacher assigns homework to be done. Sometimes, the teacher collects and grades the assignment. Other times, she forgets to check that the work has been done.
Both examples 1 and 2 exhibit consistency. NeverOnTime Airlines was consistently late, and my friend Chavi was consistently on time. Few people would choose to fly NeverOnTime Airlines, but anyone would rely on Chavi!
The third example, however, demonstrates inconsistency. The students are never sure whether the work really needs to be done. Some students may try to get away with not doing their homework because they do not believe their teacher will really check it.
You feel you can trust someone when he has consistently been there for you in the past. If he has never let you down until now, you feel you can depend on him to come through for you.
Review of the 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People (so far)
- Love and care
- Attentive and available
- Able and unstoppable
- Knows what you really need
- Consistently there for you
Practical Bitachon
Consider how Hashem has cared for you ever since you were born. Even if you have had a hard life, remember that your life itself is a gift from Hashem.
Keep in mind that Hashem helps you by always giving you exactly what you need (Habit #4). While consistently being there for you (Habit #5) is usually thought to include things like food, shelter, clothing, family, health etc, it may also include pushing along your growth through challenge or unpleasant situations!
The more you look to see how Hashem’s Hand has guided your entire life until now, the better able you are to have Bitachon (trust) that Hashem will continue to look out for you in the future.
I think this is one reason why an eternal, unchanging view of G-d is so central to my bitachon. The idea that G-d could "change his mind," for example, deciding that kosher laws no longer apply, implies an inconsistency that I would find alarming considering just how dependent we all are in G-d at every moment.
ReplyDeleteMy son gave a great example. We had been discussing, earlier in the week a few months ago, how G-d is constantly involved in creation and if, for a moment withdrew Himself from it, everything would cease to exist. This must have made a big impression on him because, days later as we walked home from Shul on Shabbos, he stopped in his tracks and looked up at me, alarmed, and asked, "Ima, in the parsha today (we were back in Beresheis), they said Hashem rested on Shabbos. If he has to be constantly creating, how does He rest?!"
In my son's mind, the idea that Hashem is constantly renewing creation compared to the idea of Him resting on Shabbos was a frightening inconsistency in the nature of G-d. Happily, I asked his question to several different Rabbis and got several different explanations and the poor little guy was no longer afraid everything was going to cease to exist next Shabbos, but I think this points to a very human need to know that the One we depend on the most is also the one thing that never changes, that doesn't have moods or give in to fads, but is ALWAYS consistent, even though we are not.
Yep, it's That consistency that makes Bitachon sensible!
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