Parenting Moments and Habit Number 7: The Essence of Giving

There are some days when being a parent feels great; the kids play nicely together, behave well and speak respectfully.

A getting-along moment!

Then, there are the other days; the “Why did he get a bigger piece than I did?” days, the “No!” days, and the “You’re so mean” days.

On the good days, it’s easy to give, to do a fun activity, to spend some extra time together.

What do we do on the bad days?

But what happens on the bad days? How do we relate to our children when they misbehave or drive us up the wall?

• Hopefully our children can count on us for dinner - even if they have fought with their siblings.
• Hopefully our children can still depend on us for a good night kiss, even after they have behaved poorly.
• But will we still go the extra mile and give out special treats, help them with out-of-the-ordinary projects, or take them on surprise outings?

This brings us to the last of the 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People …

Habit #7: The essence of giving - gives generously and unconditionally

A child trusts his parents if he knows they will always take care of him, no matter what.

Hashem gives us everything, more than the most wonderful parent can ever give his child. Our food, shelter, and clothing, our talents and personality, our family and health, our very life - are all undeserved gifts from Hashem! Even the most righteous person in the world can never “earn” all that he receives.

And how about those of us who are less than righteous, not yet perfect? Even when we don’t find time to do His mitzvos (commandments), Hashem continues to shower us with His abundant blessings. Even as we lack the willpower to resist sin, He gives and gives and gives some more - unconditionally.

We can depend on God because He continues to provide us with all of our needs even when we aren’t worthy.

Does that mean we’re off the hook?

Needless to say, it is much easier to do wonderful things for our children when they behave well. Even though we love them in the tough moments, that does mean we don’t care if they misbehave.

Additionally, providing for the needs of a child who acts up might include some not-so-pleasant consequences. Loving, caring and providing for a child does not mean giving him everything he wants – it means helping him to grow up into a good person!

Put your best foot forward!

When you want a job, you dress well and do all you can to make it easy for the interviewer to be impressed.

When you want God to give you good things, it makes a lot more sense to do what He asks than to rebel and ask for the good anyway.

And though we can still count on getting our “goodnight kiss” even when we’re not on track, we might also be able to count on getting a firm look or a consequence. That may be what we need to get back on track!

So do your best to do Hashem’s will, and trust that He will take care of you always, no matter what!