It is Sunday morning. You are a ten year old, and have nothing to do. Everyone else seems to be very busy, but you are bored.
Suddenly, you get an idea. The whole family can go on an outing to that new park that just opened! You heard that they have sprinklers and slides and a great big track for biking. It’s perfect!
You find your mother downstairs, folding some laundry. “Mommy,” you shout, “I know what we can do today! We can go to the new park! There are activities for the little kids and the big kids. We’ll all have fun!”
Your mother thinks about it for a minute. You can tell she likes the plan. After all, it will keep everyone busy! But still, there seems to be some hesitation …
“We’ll have to ask Daddy,” she finally answers. “I think he was hoping everyone would help clean out the garage today.”
Who is really in charge?
The problem here was not that your mother didn’t care, or wasn’t available. She couldn’t answer because she wasn’t the only one in charge of the situation. In this case, she shared control with your father.
Now imagine the same scenario, but with one difference: your father is out of town for the week.
When you ask your mother, she may say yes or she may say no. But either way the decision will be in her control. She will be dependable to take action.
Habit #6: Sole and Total Control
Habit #6 of Highly Dependable People is that they alone are in complete control of the situation at hand.
You may trust that your boss can get you a raise, but if she has superiors or colleagues who must also agree, then she is not really dependable in this area.
You may be certain that the approaching neighborhood bully is going to harass you, but if the principal suddenly walks up from behind, that bully may just leave you alone.
Bitachon: There is no power besides Hashem
It should be apparent that no human being can ever have exclusive and complete control in any situation. When we consider someone to be trustworthy, we really mean that that person is trustworthy most of the time.
God, on the other hand, is completely and totally dependable because He alone is in command of everything that happens in this world, all the time.
There is no person who can help or hinder you without Hashem’s consent!
A person may appear to assist or to harm another. In reality, he is only a messenger, and has no power of his own to affect his fellow man. See Return to Sender - The Root Cause of Success and Disaster and Hate, Peace, and Bitachon for more on this topic.
There is a beracha (blessing) “Shehakol Nihyeh Bidvaro”, which we recite over drinks (other than grape juice and wine) and miscellaneous type foods, such as eggs, meat and candy. The last three words of this blessing can be translated as follows:
Shehakol - that everything
Nihyeh - came into being
Bidvaro - by His word
In other words, all that happens is by Hashem’s command. Whatever God says, that’s what is.
Practical Bitachon
Make it a point to recite the beracha “Shehakol Nihyeh Bidvaro” next time you take a drink or a bite of chocolate. Concentrate on the meaning of the words, and feel that your entire life is guided by Hashem.
This blessing can be found in just about any siddur, or on p.91-92 in the NCSY Bencher.
When something good happens to you, thank the person who did it, and be sure to thank God too!
When someone harms or insults you, realize that no one can hurt with you without God’s permission. If the pain had not come through this person, Hashem would have sent it through some other channel. The person who caused the anguish is only a messenger.
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