Come Close to Me: Drawing Near to God Through Suffering

The Torah tells us that our foremothers, Sara, Rivka, and Rachel were barren. (Actually, it appears from the verse that Leah was initially unable to conceive as well, until Hashem “ … opened her womb”. See Rashi, Genesis 29:31.) It is no coincidence that they all had this challenge in common. The Midrash tells us:

…Why were the foremothers barren? … Hashem desired their prayers. Hashem said, “They are wealthy, they are beautiful - if I give them children, they won’t pray to me!” (Tanchuma Toldos 9)

When things are going well, we often forget about Hashem. However, when there are bumps along the road, we call out to God for help.

Though Mr. Gold was Sabbath observant all his life, he never really felt “close” to God. He went through all the motions, doing mitzvos and avoiding sin, but the real connection was just never there.

Read more ...

Tools of the Trade

This post is a continuation in the series on “Why Bad Things Happen To Good (and All) People”.

See also the earlier articles in this series:
Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - Why not?
The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World
5 Reasons That Good People Suffer (Part 2 of The Secret to Dealing with Perceived Injustice in This World)

Now that we understand the question and have completed the 5 reasons offered by the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart), I would like to offer some additional possibilities.

Today’s topic is my personal “favorite” reason why bad things sometimes happen to good people. In my opinion, understanding this idea is so crucial that I gave it its own post. (Okay, it was also getting too long to talk about anything else!). More ideas to follow soon.

Recently, my sister and I were discussing cupcakes. I maintained that pouring the batter into the muffin tins just took too long; it was not even worth baking them. 

My sister thought for a moment and replied, “You’re right! I used to think so too! But then I got a cupcake dispenser. You just pour the batter into the dispenser and ‘click, click, click’, quickly drop all the batter into cupcakes.”

Having the right tools is essential. For some tasks, you can manage with an inferior tool, but it will take longer or it might be more difficult. Other tasks cannot be accomplished at all without the proper instruments.

In the above example, cupcake batter can be poured from a measuring cup or spoon, albeit slowly and messily. However, without muffin tins or good cupcake holders, you might be hard-pressed to bake any cupcakes at all!

Everything I have is a tool I can use to reach my potential. Some tools are lovely, like a cupcake holder, while others are not so pleasant, or even painful.

Read more ...

5 Reasons That Good People Suffer (Part 2)

Let’s review:

1. Suffering does not always equal punishment. (See Why Bad Things Happen To Good People - Why Not?). There are many possible reasons why bad things might happen to a person.

2. The secret to dealing with perceived injustice in this world is to set your perception straight. God is just, and all His ways are just. We sometimes don’t understand how, but our lack of understanding does not make God unjust!! (See The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World).

3. We can know with certainty that there is some good explanation for everything that happens, even if we don’t know what it is in this particular case. We can accomplish this by learning many possible reasons. We may not know which applies (or maybe one we hadn’t thought of), but it’s no big leap of faith to believe that there is a good reason.

The Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart) lists 5 reasons that good people suffer.

The first 2 reasons are discussed in depth in The Secret To Dealing With Perceived Injustice In This World. The remainder of the list will be the subject of this post.

1. Punishment for past sins

   1. Pay up now so you won’t have to pay later.

   2. No one is perfect. Therefore, no one is too good for punishment.

2. Increase reward in the Next World

3. Others will learn to serve God

   When someone serves Hashem happily despite poverty or other afflictions, it provides opportunities both for himself and for others:

   • For himself: To reap rewards in the World To Come (see The Secret To Dealing With Perceived Injustice In This World number 2 on the list).

   • For others: To learn from him.

   

   People learn best by example. When we see someone model appropriate behavior, we are more likely to apply this to our own lives when the right time comes.

   Imagine a child who grows up being yelled at. The child learns that in the face of frustration, the only response is to yell and blame. Even though the child knows that these efforts will not solve her problems, she simply does not know what else to do.

   Contrast this to a child who is raised with love, understanding, and firm yet gentle discipline. She learns more productive ways of solving her problems because calm problem solving is constantly modeled for her.

   A righteous person serves as a role model for others. When others see him happily serving Hashem in the face of hardship, they will learn to do the same.

4. His righteousness will be apparent to all

   On the day of judgement, the evildoers will see the righteous receiving reward while they themselves are punished. They will want to say, “Those people lived with us, and they were the same as we are. Why are they getting rewarded and we are punished?”

   However, when a person has proven himself by continuing to serve Hashem with love even in times of difficulty and suffering, his righteousness will speak for itself. Even the evildoers will have to concede that he has earned his reward.

5. Punishment for not rebuking sinners

   “I just found the best recipe. You must try it!”

   “I read the most interesting article! I’m sharing it with you because I think you can benefit from it too.”

   “I saved so much money by shopping at that new store. You must go check it out!”

   It is human nature to share with others that which has helped me. I want to convince others to try “my” school, “my” store, “my”  favorite website or blog, “my” diet, and “my” values.

   One who loves Hashem will want to convince others to follow his lead. If he doesn’t, it shows a lack of interest or caring about Hashem, people, or both.

   Additionally, the Torah tells us that all Jews are responsible for all other Jews. If my brothers are faltering, it is my responsibility to do all that I can to raise them back up. “It’s not my problem” is not a Jewish value.

   

   A man bought a ticket to sail across the ocean on a large ship. During the voyage, the ship suddenly began to sink. The attendants searched and searched to find the source of the leak. They finally traced the problem to this man’s cabin. When they arrived at his room, they found him drilling a hole right into the bottom of the boat! Astounded, they demanded that he stop immediately!

   The man could not understand why they were so upset. “What is all this commotion about? I’m not bothering anyone else, it’s only in my own room!”

   No one would walk by such a sight and do nothing. No one would say, “It’s not my problem!”

   Similarly, when one soul is tainted with sin, it takes down the entire nation along with it. It is in every man’s personal and national interest to make sure that his fellow is not drilling a hole in the bottom of our collective boat!

   A righteous person has a great responsibility to help others serve God. If he does not, he too is held accountable.

More Reasons Good People Suffer

This completes The list from the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart). In the next post I hope to discuss a few more possible explanations for suffering of the righteous. If you have any ideas other than what is listed above, I’d love to hear!

Read more ...