See also the earlier articles in this series:
Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - Why not?
The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World
5 Reasons That Good People Suffer (Part 2 of The Secret to Dealing with Perceived Injustice in This World)
Now that we understand the question and have completed the 5 reasons offered by the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart), I would like to offer some additional possibilities.
Today’s topic is my personal “favorite” reason why bad things sometimes happen to good people. In my opinion, understanding this idea is so crucial that I gave it its own post. (Okay, it was also getting too long to talk about anything else!). More ideas to follow soon.
Recently, my sister and I were discussing cupcakes. I maintained that pouring the batter into the muffin tins just took too long; it was not even worth baking them.
My sister thought for a moment and replied, “You’re right! I used to think so too! But then I got a cupcake dispenser. You just pour the batter into the dispenser and ‘click, click, click’, quickly drop all the batter into cupcakes.”Having the right tools is essential. For some tasks, you can manage with an inferior tool, but it will take longer or it might be more difficult. Other tasks cannot be accomplished at all without the proper instruments.
In the above example, cupcake batter can be poured from a measuring cup or spoon, albeit slowly and messily. However, without muffin tins or good cupcake holders, you might be hard-pressed to bake any cupcakes at all!
Everything I have is a tool I can use to reach my potential. Some tools are lovely, like a cupcake holder, while others are not so pleasant, or even painful.
A firefighter's uniform may weight 70 lbs before he even adds any tools - not exactly most people's first choice for clothing on a hot summer's day. But a firefighter would never give up his uniform - he cannot do his job without it!
If the source of my suffering is also a needed tool, then as much as I wish the pain to disappear, I know deep down that I do not want to dispense with my toolbox! I know I need my tools to reach my potential.
This idea is expressed beautifully in a song on one of my favorite children’s albums, Torah Island 3.
Every Jew Has A Mission*
Does a carpenter need a stethoscope
Does a doctor need a hammer or nails
(No, no!)
Does a postman need an oven
Does a baker need to go give out the mail
(No, no, no!)
Does a diamond dealer need a paintbrush
Does a painter need precious gems
Does a Jew need anything he doesn’t have
For him to serve Hashem
(No, no!)
CHORUS
‘Cause every Jew has a mission
A special job to do
And whatever you need to do your job
Hashem will give to you
So if your friend has more talent, more clothes
More games or more money to spend
Just remember you don’t need it
And be happy for your friend
Does a fireman need a thread or needle
Does a tailor need a hook or ladder
(No, no!)
Does a caterer need to fly an airplane
Does a pilot need a tray or platter
(No, no, no)
Does a ball player need a scissor
Does a barber need a baseball or glove
Do we need anything we don’t have
To serve the One above
(No, no!)
CHORUS
‘Cause every Jew has a mission
A special job to do
And whatever you need to do your job
Hashem will give to you
So if your friend has more talent, more clothes
More games or more money to spend
Just remember you don’t need it
And be happy for your friend!
*shared with permission from Suki and Ding
Example:
Hillel is very poor. Despite his best efforts, he never seems to have enough money to cover his expenses. He somehow squeaks by, but can never break free from his crushing poverty.Viewing troubles, pain, or suffering as necessary tools - rather than punishment - lends an entirely different perspective to a difficult situation! It also removes the instinct towards jealousy, the “why do these things always happen to me?“ and the "I wish my children / financial situation / health / job / family etc were like so and so’s”. If you had so and so’s tools, you might do a great job fulfilling so and so’s role - but you would be unable to fulfill your own!
Unbeknownst to Hillel, his poverty is an essential tool for completing his life’s work. Many people use lack of funds as an excuse for their lack of observance. Hillel’s life mission (even if he does not realize it!) is to show that one can serve Hashem even if he is very poor.
No matter how hard Hillel davens (prays) to Hashem, not matter how much he begs, Hillel’s dream to relieve his poverty will not and cannot be actualized. If God takes away Hillel’s tool, Hillel will essentially become spiritually crippled - he will be unable to accomplish his life’s task in this world!
Thank you to all who have replied to the email or commented on the blog. I love your feedback!
Can you think of some other unpleasant tools that allowed someone to achieve great things? Please share your comments and thoughts below!
This is a hard question to answer about someone else in modern times, because one never knows the reason why someone is given the lot he/she has, and I hesitate to judge! However one example I can think of is the Imahot who were unable to have children easily. The Torah reports on this fact and what they did about it (davening, telling their husband to daven, giving their maids to their husbands... almost half of our shevatim wouldn't be here if not for Rachel and Leah giving Bilhah and Zilpa! Hagar/ Yishmael one would think we can do without, but clearly it served some kind of purpose, or else Sarah wouldn't have done it!), so clearly it is significant and an important part of the development of Bnei Yisrael.
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard question to answer about someone else in modern times, because one never knows the reason why someone is given the lot he/she has, and I hesitate to judge! However one example I can think of is the Imahot who were unable to have children easily. The Torah reports on this fact and what they did about it (davening, telling their husband to daven, giving their maids to their husbands... almost half of our shevatim wouldn't be here if not for Rachel and Leah giving Bilhah and Zilpa! Hagar/ Yishmael one would think we can do without, but clearly it served some kind of purpose, or else Sarah wouldn't have done it!), so clearly it is significant and an important part of the development of Bnei Yisrael.
ReplyDelete1. You are absolutely right, we can never know with certainty the reason for any person's troubles, including our own.
Delete2. Funny that you should mention the Imahos, they are coming up in the next one or two posts in exactly the context you mention. (In fact, they almost made it into this post, but there was too much, so I saved it for the next one or two!)
3. Sometimes even though we don't know the reason for a person's challenges, it is clear that certain accomplishments could never have come about in the absence of the challenge.
For example, there was a woman (whose name I can't remember, maybe someone else will know?) who developed a fatal disease. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, she went around inspiring others to increase their observance of shmiras halashon, not speaking gossip and slander.
This does not mean that she became ill so that she could achieve greatness in this way. However, it is clear that her unpleasant situation was the catalyst for her accomplishment.