5 Reasons That Good People Suffer (Part 2)

Let’s review:

1. Suffering does not always equal punishment. (See Why Bad Things Happen To Good People - Why Not?). There are many possible reasons why bad things might happen to a person.

2. The secret to dealing with perceived injustice in this world is to set your perception straight. God is just, and all His ways are just. We sometimes don’t understand how, but our lack of understanding does not make God unjust!! (See The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World).

3. We can know with certainty that there is some good explanation for everything that happens, even if we don’t know what it is in this particular case. We can accomplish this by learning many possible reasons. We may not know which applies (or maybe one we hadn’t thought of), but it’s no big leap of faith to believe that there is a good reason.

The Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart) lists 5 reasons that good people suffer.

The first 2 reasons are discussed in depth in The Secret To Dealing With Perceived Injustice In This World. The remainder of the list will be the subject of this post.

1. Punishment for past sins

   1. Pay up now so you won’t have to pay later.

   2. No one is perfect. Therefore, no one is too good for punishment.

2. Increase reward in the Next World

3. Others will learn to serve God

   When someone serves Hashem happily despite poverty or other afflictions, it provides opportunities both for himself and for others:

   • For himself: To reap rewards in the World To Come (see The Secret To Dealing With Perceived Injustice In This World number 2 on the list).

   • For others: To learn from him.

   

   People learn best by example. When we see someone model appropriate behavior, we are more likely to apply this to our own lives when the right time comes.

   Imagine a child who grows up being yelled at. The child learns that in the face of frustration, the only response is to yell and blame. Even though the child knows that these efforts will not solve her problems, she simply does not know what else to do.

   Contrast this to a child who is raised with love, understanding, and firm yet gentle discipline. She learns more productive ways of solving her problems because calm problem solving is constantly modeled for her.

   A righteous person serves as a role model for others. When others see him happily serving Hashem in the face of hardship, they will learn to do the same.

4. His righteousness will be apparent to all

   On the day of judgement, the evildoers will see the righteous receiving reward while they themselves are punished. They will want to say, “Those people lived with us, and they were the same as we are. Why are they getting rewarded and we are punished?”

   However, when a person has proven himself by continuing to serve Hashem with love even in times of difficulty and suffering, his righteousness will speak for itself. Even the evildoers will have to concede that he has earned his reward.

5. Punishment for not rebuking sinners

   “I just found the best recipe. You must try it!”

   “I read the most interesting article! I’m sharing it with you because I think you can benefit from it too.”

   “I saved so much money by shopping at that new store. You must go check it out!”

   It is human nature to share with others that which has helped me. I want to convince others to try “my” school, “my” store, “my”  favorite website or blog, “my” diet, and “my” values.

   One who loves Hashem will want to convince others to follow his lead. If he doesn’t, it shows a lack of interest or caring about Hashem, people, or both.

   Additionally, the Torah tells us that all Jews are responsible for all other Jews. If my brothers are faltering, it is my responsibility to do all that I can to raise them back up. “It’s not my problem” is not a Jewish value.

   

   A man bought a ticket to sail across the ocean on a large ship. During the voyage, the ship suddenly began to sink. The attendants searched and searched to find the source of the leak. They finally traced the problem to this man’s cabin. When they arrived at his room, they found him drilling a hole right into the bottom of the boat! Astounded, they demanded that he stop immediately!

   The man could not understand why they were so upset. “What is all this commotion about? I’m not bothering anyone else, it’s only in my own room!”

   No one would walk by such a sight and do nothing. No one would say, “It’s not my problem!”

   Similarly, when one soul is tainted with sin, it takes down the entire nation along with it. It is in every man’s personal and national interest to make sure that his fellow is not drilling a hole in the bottom of our collective boat!

   A righteous person has a great responsibility to help others serve God. If he does not, he too is held accountable.

More Reasons Good People Suffer

This completes The list from the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart). In the next post I hope to discuss a few more possible explanations for suffering of the righteous. If you have any ideas other than what is listed above, I’d love to hear!

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The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World

In Why Bad Things Happen To Good People - Why Not?, we dealt with the premise of this question that bothers so many. For those who received the post by email and did not get to see my cute (and very short) video, you can still see it here. (Sorry, it appears that Feedburner, the program that sends out the posts by email, does not embed the video into the email!)

We now know that suffering does not always equal punishment. (If you don’t know, go back and read the last post again!). In fact, there are many possible reasons why bad things might happen to a person.

The secret to dealing with perceived injustice in this world is to set your perception straight. God is just, and all His ways are just. We sometimes don’t understand how, but our lack of understanding does not make God unjust!!

How to “straighten” a crooked perspective

Now that we no longer have prophecy, we will never know with certainty the reasons behind God’s actions. However, by familiarizing ourselves with some possible reasons, we can know with certainty that there is some good explanation, even if we don’t know what it is in each particular case.

The Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart) lists 5 reasons that good people suffer.

The first 2 reasons will be the subject of this post. Keep your eyes open for the next 3 reasons, coming soon! I hope to add a few of my own ideas on this subject in a future post as well.

1. Punishment for past sins

   1. Pay up now so you won’t have to pay later.

      

      Credit card companies and stores urge you to “shop now, pay later”. Sometimes they even offer 6 months with no interest.

      But what happens if you buy something and don’t pay for it? What will it cost a year later? How much interest will you rack up in 5 years?

      If you pay now, you’ll pay the agreed upon purchase price. The more you delay, the more interest will accumulate, and the more money you will owe.

      Okay, so what do credit cards have to do with punishment?

      Well, what happens when you sin but don’t repent? You need to pay. You can pay now, or you can pay later. Which do you think will be more pleasant?

      Sometimes Hashem punishes a righteous person in This World in order to spare the person from the punishment in the Next World. Pay now, pay less!

   2. No one is perfect. Therefore, no one is too good for punishment.

      My daughter was diagnosed with hip dysplasia at the age of four months. This was a curable problem, though it was not entirely pleasant, nor was it aesthetically pleasing. She wore a harness that made her look like a frog. We had instructions not to remove it at all - not for baths, and not even for diaper changes. We learned to sponge bathe her and change diapers between the straps, messy as it sometimes was. We even got used to the “frog look” that the harness bestowed upon her.

      I still remember a comment that someone made to me shortly after the diagnosis: “Why would this happen to you? You are such a tzaddekes (righteous woman)!”

      I found this attitude very intriguing. While I try to be a good person and to serve my Creator, I am certainly not without faults! Punishment is only one of the many reasons that people suffer, and I was not about to decide the reason that God had sent a challenge my way. But even if it was a punishment, would I be presumptuous enough to believe it was not deserved?

      No one is perfect. Even the best intentioned people and the most righteous sometimes make mistakes. That is part of being human! It therefore follows that no one is so good as to never deserve a punishment.

2. Increase reward in the Next World

   How do people earn higher salaries in this world?

   • Work more hours (hourly workers)
     
   • Work overtime (some salaried workers)
   • Bonuses for outstanding work and dedication
   • Promotions when competence is displayed (which come with more responsibility!)
   • Make more sales (commission based employees)
     

   No one makes more money for doing nothing. Bonuses are doled out in accordance with performance.

   The same is true of the Next World.

   Example:

   Yosef is a good, hardworking man. He sets aside time to study Torah, and keeps the mitzvos to the best of his ability.

   One day, Yosef becomes ill. He suffers terribly from the pain of the disease. He is unable to work his usual hours, and suffers a loss of income as well. Times are difficult for Yosef’s family. They move out of their beautiful home into a tiny apartment.

     Here are some of the many different ways that Yosef can respond to his suffering. He can:

   • Ask “Why me? I am a good person, why is this happening to me?”.
   • Accept the suffering as God given. He know that Hashem loves him and there is some reason for all this.
   • Feel that Hashem doesn’t care about him and decide that he doesn’t care either.
   • Look for ways to improve himself.
   • View it as an opportunity to help or teach others.

     Yosef’s reward will be in accordance with his response. Naturally, if he succumbs to a negative attitude (numbers 1 and 3), then he will not be rewarded for that! However, if he rises above his natural inclination to be angry or upset (numbers 2, 4, and 5), he can earn great bonuses in the Next World!

   When a person rises to the challenge and passes with flying colors, he racks up “miles” to be redeemed in the Next World. The way a person responds to suffering in This World is an opportunity to increase his reward in the Next World. View it like working overtime and getting paid time and a half!

Stay tuned to find out the rest!

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Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - Why not?

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The question of why bad things happen to good people is not a new one. It is a question that people of all faiths and cultures have grappled with since the beginning of time.

Before we can even attempt to offer an explanation, I have a question to ask you:

WHY NOT?

Why do we feel that it is wrong for good people to suffer? Who says that bad things shouldn’t happen to good people?

A Source

The Rambam (Maimonides) lists 13 Essential Principles of Faith. These include concepts such as “God is the Creator and Ruler of all things … ” and “God is One”.

Principle #11 is a statement of reward and punishment: God rewards those who fulfill His commandments and punishes those who violate His commandments.

Based on this idea of reward and punishment, we are bothered when we see good people suffering or bad people prospering.

If we believe in Divine reward and punishment, how can we explain the pain of the righteous and prosperity of the wicked that we see in this world?

Error in Logic

The truth is, that there is a basic flaw in the question itself.

We are equating good with reward and bad with punishment. This is faulty reasoning, because good is not always synonymous with reward and bad is not always the same as punishment.

To make things even more confusing, what we perceive as good is not always really beneficial, and what we view as bad may actually be laying a foundation for something wonderful!

Example

Mr. R wins the lottery. This seems to be pretty good! Feeling that he has endless funds, he assumes an upper-class lifestyle. The problem is that Mr. R doesn’t know much about finances. In a short while, the money is all gone.

Mr. R is not just back where he started; he is in a much worse position now. Having tasted the life of luxury, he finds himself dreaming of all the things he can no longer afford, or buying them anyway and falling into debt. His desires are unfulfilled and he feels depressed.

Maybe winning the lottery wasn’t really so great for Mr. R after all …

Example

Mrs. J worked at the same job for 15 years until she was laid off. This was the worst thing that she could have imagined. She felt crushed and defeated. After all her hard work, she was not even appreciated.

To make matters worse, Mrs. J really counted on her paycheck to cover significant expenses like mortgage and groceries. Now she did not know what to do.

Unable to find another job in her field, Mrs. J began her own business revolving around her hobby, gardening. She was passionate and creative. People loved her services.

Before long, Mrs. J had a thriving business, doing what she loved most.

Knowing the end of the story, how bad was losing that boring job?

See Jumping to Conclusions: How Sure Are You? for more about the way we see things.

Do Bad Things Only Happen to Good People?

Bad things actually happen to all people, righteous and wicked.

If you view bad as punishment, you may not be terribly bothered by the wicked getting “punished”. (Notice that no one ever asks: “Why do bad things happen to bad people?”)

The reality is that there are a number of different reasons that bad things happen, and also several reasons why good things occur - to ALL people.

Stay tuned! We will explore some of these possibilities in the upcoming posts!

Why do you think that bad things happen to good people and that good things happen to bad people?

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Lessons in Bitachon from Superstorm Sandy

Last week, as superstorm Sandy was winding down, I received an email from my mother. It read:

Sorry to say, I learned today that [an acquaintance of our family]’s house in Atlantic Beach burned to the ground during the hurricane.  As I hear it, one of his cars in his driveway exploded, maybe due to the salt water getting in the engine, starting a fire which spread to the house.  The firemen couldn’t even reach them, so they [the homeowners] just watched it burn.  He was asleep at the time but his wife couldn’t fall asleep because their main floor was flooding, so she heard the explosion and woke him and of course they ran out.

Sadly, this type of story was all too common. Individuals and communities suffered huge and unthinkable losses as a result of flooding, fires, and fallen trees. Many families are unable to return to their homes (if they are lucky enough to still have homes), and even more remain without power (don’t think lights; think heat and hot water!).

In an attempt to shine a small bit of light through the darkness, let us look at some practical lessons we can glean from the heart-rending events of last week. (And may the effort of integrating Bitachon into our lives serve as a merit to ease the suffering and pain of those who were and are still affected by the storm. Our hearts feel for you!)

1. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

   1. Lack of permanence in this world

      We have a natural tendency to think that things will always continue just as they are now. Our health, our wealth, our families and our jobs seem stable and secure.

      Yet the reality is that we live in a changing world. Nothing stays the same for long.

      

      Superstorm Sandy serves as a harsh reminder that nothing in this world is permanent, nothing is guaranteed. Homes and all that was inside are gone - permanently. There are properties that literally disappeared off the map (where there once was land is now just part of the bay!). Not only is the house gone, but the actual land it sat on is missing as well!

   2. Value of life, relative unimportance of possessions

      During periods of calm, we often attribute great value and importance to our belongings. Yet during times of calamity, it quickly becomes apparent that only human life is essential, and all else is comparatively inconsequential.

      When our very lives are threatened, suddenly our “things” are not as significant as we had thought.

   3. Material objects are temporary, spiritual achievements are lasting

      

      During the ferocious storm that swept away cars, homes, and even streets themselves, it became only too obvious that physical items and even accomplishments are not forever. In a moment, they can be blown away.

      In contrast, spiritual attainments can never be taken away. Even after death, the good deeds a person has done, his Torah learning, and his personal character development will follow him to the World to Come. An act of kindness can never “disappear”. A choice to do good over bad remains forever.

2. On Rosh Hashana it is written …

   My sister was relating to me some stories of deaths resulting from superstorm Sandy. She told me that there was a woman who was driving on Monday night when her car stalled. She and her children ran from the car to knock on the nearest door. At that moment, there was a surge of water and the children were washed away.

   My initial reaction (before I even heard the end!) was “What on earth was that lady doing out in her car when all the reports were forecasting a monster storm?”. Certainly, there could be more details that would explain her actions, but at first glance, it would seem that perhaps the deaths of these children could have been prevented.

   

   The next story, however, was of a man who was sitting in his home, doing everything he was supposed to be doing regarding storm preparedness. A tree fell down on his home, killing him instantly.

   Oh.

   My sister used to say that “every bullet has an address”. In other words, there is no such thing as an accident. If this man was killed in the storm, it is not coincidental. Rather, it is God who grants life, and God who takes it away.

   Not long ago, we stood in shul and expressed this idea exactly.

   On Rosh Hashana it is written and on the Fast of Yom Kippur it is sealed … who will live and who will die … who by water and who by fire … who will become poor and who will become wealthy …

   It is not just some abstract prayer to make sure we spend all day in shul! This is reality! Life and death, quality of life and suffering of death, are not random. They are carefully calculated by the All-Powerful, All-Knowing, and yes, All-Kind Hashem.

3. Rely Only on Hashem

   We often experience a false sense of security. Even knowing that emergencies occur, we somehow feel that there will be someone or something who can save us. For example, in a medical emergency we might rely on an ambulance and medical technicians to rescue us.

   The stark reality, as evidenced by this devastating storm, is that we can rely on no one but Hashem. Rescue workers were unable to reach people in need of assistance. How many, many people watched their homes burn down, while their cars and possessions floated away. The firefighters, police, and special rescue squads were simply not able to assist in many areas.

   

   This article opened with a story of a home that burned to the ground. Though the firefighters could not save this couple’s home, Hashem chose to save their lives. I would even venture to say that the flooding on the first floor was a blessing in disguise - it kept the wife awake worrying, and ultimately allowed them both to escape the burning home with their lives.

Practical Bitachon

Let’s live every day with the knowledge that Hashem alone runs the world.

Life is precious; we don’t have to wait for the world to be shaken upside-down to appreciate it!

Prioritize: Don’t get sidetracked by all the “stuff” and distractions in this world. Make time for Torah and personal development. That’s why we’re here on this earth, after all.

See also this excellent article by Charlie Harary on Aish.com

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