NeverOnTime Airlines and Habit #5: Always There for You

In The 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People, I concluded the post with the question:

What qualities would make you feel you could depend on someone?

Karen responded, “… consistency is really important to trust someone.”

Obviously, when we talk about consistency as a virtue, we refer to the positive use of consistency. Contrast these scenarios:

1. 

   When I was in High School, I used to walk to school with my friend Chavi (not her real name). We agreed that she would pick me up each day at 7:50 AM.

   Every morning, even before 7:50, Chavi would knock on my door. Over four years of High Shchool, I don’t remember her ever being late. I could always count on her to be ready and on time.

2. You are an important business executive. You have an important meeting in another city, and need to get there on time.

   

   NeverOnTime Airlines has some great fares, and you nearly book your ticket with them. Then you hear that their flights are habitually delayed or canceled.

   Would you depend on this airline to get you there on time?

3. 

   A teacher assigns homework to be done. Sometimes, the teacher collects and grades the assignment. Other times, she forgets to check that the work has been done.

Both examples 1 and 2 exhibit consistency. NeverOnTime Airlines was consistently late, and my friend Chavi was consistently on time. Few people would choose to fly NeverOnTime Airlines, but anyone would rely on Chavi!

The third example, however, demonstrates inconsistency. The students are never sure whether the work really needs to be done. Some students may try to get away with not doing their homework because they do not believe their teacher will really check it.

You feel you can trust someone when he has consistently been there for you in the past. If he has never let you down until now, you feel you can depend on him to come through for you.

Review of the 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People (so far)

1. Love and care
2. Attentive and available
3. Able and unstoppable
4. Knows what you really need
5. Consistently there for you

Practical Bitachon

Consider how Hashem has cared for you ever since you were born. Even if you have had a hard life, remember that your life itself is a gift from Hashem.

Keep in mind that Hashem helps you by always giving you exactly what you need (Habit #4). While consistently being there for you (Habit #5) is usually thought to include things like food, shelter, clothing, family, health etc, it may also include pushing along your growth through challenge or unpleasant situations!

The more you look to see how Hashem’s Hand has guided your entire life until now, the better able you are to have Bitachon (trust) that Hashem will continue to look out for you in the future.

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The Package and Habit # 4: Knows What You Really Need

The Package

One day, a package comes in the mail. It’s from your cousin Anna! What could be inside? Wow! It’s a check for your birthday! How thoughtful!

Imagine the same scenario, but …

One day, a package comes in the mail. It’s from your cousin Bella! What could be inside? Wow! It’s a fur hat for your birthday! I live in Florida!! Who needs a fur hat in Florida?

What do you need?

In the above scenarios, both Anna and Bella actually care about you and want to help you. They really want to get you something that you need. The difference is that Anna knew what you needed, while Bella did not.

Over the past few posts, we have been discussing the 7 Habits of Highly Dependable People. So far, we have seen these habits:

1. Love and care
2. Attentive and available
3. Able and unstoppable

However, even if a person cares about you, is attentive and available, and is able to help you, she can’t assist you if she doesn’t know what you really need!

Who knows better?

I remember visiting my cousins once when I was a kid. My mother and my aunt were discussing some recent news in my cousin’s school. One girl was allergic to peanuts, and the whole school went peanut-free in order to accommodate her.

“After all,” my aunt explained, “every child deserves to go to school.”

My young cousin, listening to the exchange, replied in outrage, “What do you mean? No child deserves to go to school!!”

If it were up to the kids, they would forget about school, eat pizza and ice cream at every meal, and stay up all night every night. They can’t understand why those mean adults keep insisting on study, sleep, and good nutrition!

But what would happen if parents let kids do anything they wanted? Would that be good for them? Is that really what they need?

Part of being a dependable parent is giving a child what he needs, even if he does not like it, even if he does not think he needs it!

Do we really know what we need?

One night I took out pajamas for my three year old to wear. She came down a few minutes later, crying. She must have put both feet into the same pant leg, and her shorts were all the way up around her waist.

“Why did you give this to me?” she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It’s not good, why did you give it to me!”

The pajamas I gave her were just fine; she just didn’t know how to put them on!

Who really knows what we need?

Everything Hashem gives us is exactly what we need. But like my three year old, sometimes we just don’t know how to use it properly. Or maybe we fail to recognize that what we got was what we needed.

We wish we could do anything we want. If only we could fulfill our every desire! But is that really what we need?

Thankfully, Hashem is dependable to take care of our needs. Sometimes this feels great, like having food to eat and a place to sleep. Sometimes it is difficult, like insult or illness. But in every case, it is just what we need. One day, we may see that what we got was really just perfect. Or we may never understand.

Practical Bitachon

• In what ways do you see that Hashem knows what you need?
• Think about a situation where you got something other than what you thought you needed, but it really turned out to be just right.
• When you can’t see how your situation can possibly be what you need, consider this story from Rabbi Yisroel Reisman’s book, Pathways of the Prophets (p.170):

  A man walks into shul for Maariv one night, visibly disturbed about something. The Rav goes over to him after Maariv and asks him what is wrong. The man tells him that he was supposed to fly to Europe that night, and he got stuck in traffic and missed the flight. He could not get onto another flight, and he was stuck in America.

  “I have to cancel all of my meetings,” the man moans. “I’ll ruin my business. Why did this have to happen to me?”

  “What would happen,” asks the Rav, “if you wake up tomorrow and read in the newspaper that the flight crashed, and all 450 people on board died. What would you do then?”

  “I would give a kiddush!” the man exclaims. “I would be delighted that I missed the flight.”

  “You rasha [(wicked person)]!” the Rav responds. “Do 450 people have to die for you to see Hashem’s Hand in your life? Do you have to kill 450 people to say ‘thank you’ to Hashem?

  “Do the world a favor. Let those people live, and just see Hashem’s Hand in your missed flight.”

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