From Grumbling to Gratitude

Bitachon and Gratitude: What's the connection?

One of the basic foundations of Bitachon is that Hashem is good, and He wants to do good for His creations. In fact, God will benefit his creatures even if they are not deserving!

An attitude of gratitude complements this idea. We must be thankful for all that Hashem gives us. He is constantly showering us with wonderful things, and we must appreciate them.

Example:

Chani has been looking for a job for several months. She is highly qualified, but just can't seem to get an offer!

Chani goes for yet another interview. She manages to connect with her potential boss. He is impressed by her education and experience. He likes her interpersonal skills.

Sure enough, he offers Chani a job! Hooray!

Chani has put a lot of hard work and preparation into this endeavor. She spent hours writing and tweaking her resume. In person and by phone, she networked with others in her field. She scoured newspapers and websites, looking for appropriate employment opportunities. She even took an advanced course in her area of expertise and a seminar on effective interviewing!

Certainly, Chani can be proud of her accomplishment. However, Chani also realizes that without Hashem's intervention, all her efforts could not accomplish anything. The best, most prepared candidates are turned down all the time!

It is not luck, and not even hard work alone that produces results. Human efforts can only succeed with the help and consent of Hashem.

Chani whispers a silent "Thank You" to God as she returns home with her offer. She is grateful that Hashem has made things work out in her favor today!

Complain? That's Insane!

But what happens when our equilibrium is upset? What do we do when we encounter a tough situation? How do we react when something bad happens?

Suddenly, our gratitude seems to disappear. We are full of complaints and grievances. Why didn't I get what I wanted? Hey, this is not what I ordered!

Example:

Chani is really enjoying her new job. She just loves the work she is doing. The commute is very manageable. Her coworkers are friendly and supportive.

But then the economy takes a turn for the worse. Chani, along with many others in her department, finds herself once again without employment.

Now Chani is grumbling. "Why did Hashem do this to me?" she wonders. "I finally had a job I loved - why did He take it away?"

From Grievance to Gratitude

So how can we stay positive when we're actually feeling pretty negative? How do we replace the grumbles and grievances with gratefulness?

The trick is to apply an attitude of appreciation in all cases, even when things don't seem to be going our way. (Note: this can be very difficult in certain situations! I never said it would always be easy!)

Alternate Reactions for Chani

Chani can change her attitude by being grateful for:

1. Past

   Chani is sorry that she won't be able to continue working at her present company. At the same time, she is tremendously grateful for all the years that she was employed there. She feels appreciative for the pleasant commute, excellent work environment, and fair salary that she had all that time.

2. Present

   Chani is sad about the job she lost. After years of service in a great workplace, she now has to begin searching again. Who knows if she will find another place like this?

   However, Chani is able to recognize that even though she lost her job, she still has lots of other things to be pleased about: a loving family, a home to live in, a skill set that should put her in a position to find a new job etc.

3. Future

   Chani would certainly not have chosen to leave her job. She feels bad that she cannot stay there.

   But Chani has been working on her Bitachon. She knows that everything Hashem does is for the best. There must be something positive meant to come out of this experience.

   Perhaps an even better job awaits her soon. Maybe she will learn something from this challenge that she will need later in life. It's even possible that the work environment might have changed, and she would have been unhappy had she stayed at that job!

Practical Bitachon

Next time you find yourself complaining, try to focus on a positive aspect instead - past, present, or future (or all three)!