A Matter Of Perspective

It was late Thursday morning when the phone rang. Hmm, a call from school. Uh-oh.

"I have your son here in the office. He's complaining that he doesn't feel well and his head hurts him."

Oh, great.

Many people in the community had been sick in the past few weeks, but so far our family had managed to avoid the nasty virus. I saw our time had come.

On Friday night, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a knock on my bedroom door. It was one of my kids. He came to tell me that he was having a "horrible" night. Well, with a fever of 102, anyone would be having a "horrible" night!

And so it continued, with someone else getting sick every day or so.

Having the kids home wasn't bad at all; it actually provided some entertainment for my 18 month old. Eventually they began to get bored and fight, but even that was not so bad.

What really concerned me was something else entirely: I was terribly afraid of getting sick myself.

That may sound silly to you. After all, as inconvenient as it is to get sick, you live through it and recover a few days later. However, my fear was actually rooted in an incident that happened nearly two years ago . . .

It was about half way through my pregnancy with my son (who is now 18 months old). My friend was on bedrest, and her young daughter came down with a stomach virus. She was vomiting all over the place when I happened to call to check in on my friend.

I told my friend that I would come over to help her; she should stay in bed, where she belonged. She protested, telling me that I might get sick. I responded that for me that would be an inconvenience, but for her to get up was life-threatening to her baby.

In the end, her husband came home to help, and I did not go to her house. However, it was less than two weeks before I learned that she was right, and I was wrong.

I woke up on Shabbos morning feeling kind of sluggish. By the time shul was over, I could tell I had a stomach bug. To make a long story short, it was less than three hours by the time I was experiencing strong wrenching contractions. We quickly dashed to the hospital, where they admitted me for preterm labor. The nurses put me on IV and administered a shot to stop the contractions.

The labor stopped, and I was able to carry the baby to term. But I learned a valuable lesson that day. What seems like just a little bug can sometimes be a life or death situation!

So here I was, at almost exactly the same stage of pregnancy, and my kids were all getting sick. When I woke up one morning feeling achey and chilly, I feared the worst. I was sure that the shivering and shaking would evolve into a fever by night.

You can just imagine the joy and relief I felt when I actually felt better that evening. I had expected the worst, and was extremely grateful for having been let off so easy.

Another day, I might have been annoyed by the inconvenience of losing out on a productive day. I might have been unhappy that I spent the day feeling ill. But this day, I was thrilled!

It could have been worse . . .

When you view an incident on its own, it may seem dark and dreary. But that same incident viewed in light of other events or expectations may shine like the sun!

It isn't usually helpful to imagine all the horrible situations that could have been. Gross exaggeration doesn't typically work very well. It is useful to recognize that the current outcome is better than some of the other realistic possibilities!

The right perception has the power to turn your complaints into lavish praise and thanks!

What does this have to do with Bitachon?

You may be wondering by now what all this has to do with Bitachon. What is the connection between seeing the good in things and trusting in God?

Part of Bitachon is the knowledge that whatever happens to me is from Hashem and is good for me. I trust that He cares about me and has my best interest in mind. But sometimes it's hard to believe that something hard or unpleasant is really good.

However, when compared to other similar options that are even less desirable, it is just a tad bit easier to see that maybe what I got really is a blessing of sorts! If something of this nature had to happen to me, then I'm glad I got what I did.

So go ahead and put on your "positive perception" glasses - you'll be glad you did!