He Who Is Happy: A Bitachon Approach to "Things" and "Stuff"

Recently, we received a mailing from Oorah. Oorah is a non-profit organization which specializes in Jewish outreach.

Every year, Oorah conducts a huge Chinese Auction as a fundraiser for their many programs. The mailing we received was the prize list and details for the auction.

My son was reading the prizes with great interest.

“You can win a trip to Israel, all the technological devices you can dream of, a vacation … and here’s a dining room set! A new custom sheitel (wig), silver candelabra, jewelry, a kosher cruise … so many great prizes!” he exclaimed. He animatedly read all the prize descriptions aloud, expressing special interest in some.

I must preface what I am about to write by telling you that our family does support Oorah because of the phenomenal work that they do. And I certainly wouldn’t complain if I won free mortgage payments, electricity, gas, or groceries for a year!

But I felt it was important at the same time to express that we should not place undue emphasis on the things we don’t have. It’s certainly okay for him to enjoy reading about the auction - as long as he keeps things in perspective.

I looked at my son and said, “I am very glad that we have everything that we need. I feel very lucky that we are not lacking anything. While it’s not bad to win a prize, it’s important to realize that whatever we have is exactly what Hashem wants us to have.”

Of course, maybe Hashem will give you that new car you wanted by your winning a prize in an auction! :)

The important point is to realize that whatever I am meant to have, Hashem will send my way. Whatever I am not meant to have, I will not receive. My job is to appreciate whatever Hashem has given me, and not to dwell on things that I want, or that my neighbor has, or that my friend thinks I would really love etc.

This attitude is deeply rooted in the ideas of Bitachon: everything that I have is exactly what I am meant to have, not a drop more, not a bit  less.

Appreciation: A Recipe For Happiness

Aside for being the proper Bitachon way of life, appreciating what you have is also a great recipe for happiness.

The mishna in Pirkei Avos (Ethics of the Fathers) states: “Who is rich? He who is happy with his portion.”

This week, my children are on winter break from school. One day, the children went out and picked a bunch of oranges off the tree in our backyard.

We cleared the table, washed the oranges, and proceeded to turn them into orange juice using an electric juicer. The older kids helped the younger ones, and everyone had fun.

While the children waited for their turns, they kept themselves busy by … eating orange slices!  They begged and pleaded: “Can we please do it again tomorrow?”

I think that what amazed me the most was the tremendous excitement that was achieved through the simplest of activities. The way they talked about it, you would think that they had spent the day at an amusement park!

This is “Sameach BiChelko” - happy with his portion. Focus on the wonderful things you have, not on those you don’t!

Practical Bitachon

1. Express Gratitude

   Thank Hashem for all the wonderful things you have. Make sure to include items that many people take for granted, like family, income, a place to live, loving relationships, etc.

   Thank your family and friends for everything they do for you. Again, include the actions that you sometimes take for granted, like serving dinner, taking out the garbage, listening to you, going places together, spending time together, etc.

2. Enjoy Life’s Small Pleasures

   Don’t wait to win the lottery to enjoy life! There are little things that we can all appreciate, each and every day!

3. Keep an “Appreciation Log”

   This requires a small commitment in time, but pays huge dividends.

   

   Using an empty notebook, write down 3 things every day that you are thankful for. These can be things that you have, favors that others have done for you, or just having your day go well.

   Every so often, or when you are feeling down, you can go back and read your “Appreciation Log”. It will serve as a reminder of all the fabulous blessings in your life.

   The best part: by keeping a daily log of all the positives in your life, you will actually begin to feel more appreciative of all that you have - all the time!