What Does Bitachon Have To Do With Pesach Cleaning?

Proper Bitachon regarding mitzvah performance

The Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart) teaches us that there are 3 components to doing a mitzvah:

1. Choosing what is right
   This involves the evaluation process: what is the right thing to do?
2. Deciding to do it
   Now that I have ascertained the correct course of action, I must choose to do it.
3. Doing it
   This refers to physically carrying out the task.

Two out of three parts are completely in my control: I have the ability to identify what is right and to decide to do it. However, the third aspect, carrying through with the action, is not completely in my hands.

Let's take an example:

Moishy knows that he should get up to go to shul every morning for Shacharis (#1). Even though he really likes to sleep late,

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The One Thing That Makes All The Difference

3:00 AM

It is dark, both inside and out. All is quiet, except the rustle of a few leaves in the gentle night wind.

Inside the house, a figure slowly creeps up the stairs. Ever so quietly, he climbs step by step, using tiptoes so as not to wake the sleeping family.

Good or Bad?

Is this figure a hero, or is he up to no good?

From the information given, it’s impossible to know.

On first instinct, you may assume the figure is a thief. He must maintain absolute silence in order to successfully carry out his mission.

However, that figure could also be a boy. He woke up feeling unwell, and went downstairs to take a drink of water. Not wanting to wake his sleeping parents or the rest of the family, he tiptoes quietly back to his room.

The Difference: Motivation

Both “figures” performed exactly the same act. The description could represent both equally well. What is it, then, that makes the one a hero and the other a villain?

The defining factor here is the motivation. The boy’s intention was admirable: to perform the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va'Aim (honoring parents) and the mitzvah of not waking those who are sleeping. The robber, on the other hand, had only himself in mind. He did not respect other people’s sleep - he just wanted to get away with some valuables before anyone noticed!

Bitachon and Effort: Having the Right Motive

Hashem is the Guiding Force behind everything that transpires in the world and everything that happens to me personally. This is the fundamental idea of Bitachon!

Yet, at the same time, God requires me to try my best and do what I can to fulfill my needs and achieve my goals. This is the obligation of hishtadlus, effort.

There can be two people, equally hardworking, but one has complete trust in Hashem, while the other is severely lacking in Bitachon. What sets them apart?

The answer is, of course, their motivation.

One believes that whatever Hashem has set aside for him, he will have. He works hard, but only because Hashem has commanded us to put forth appropriate effort.

The other believes that if he works hard, he will earn well. In his mind, his efforts are the cause of his success. He has left Hashem out of the picture completely. (It is also possible for a person to attribute some credit to Hashem, but most credit to his own efforts. This is still a lack of Bitachon. A person should believe that his efforts serve the purpose of fulfilling his obligation, but success or failure are completely in the hands of Hashem.)

Real Service or Lip Service?

On the other end of the spectrum, there may be two people who both say “Everything is by Hashem’s decree”, but one is righteous and the other is a fool!

The righteous man truly believes that God runs the world. The man puts forth his required effort, but places his trust in Hashem to do what is best for him.

The fool is lazy and does not want to work. “Everything is by Hashem’s decree” is just his excuse to exempt himself from doing his part.

Same refrain, totally different intent!

For God’s Sake, Give Us Life!

There are several passages which we add to the amidah prayer during the Ten Days of Repentance from Rosh Hashanna through Yom Kippur. The first is:

Remember us for life, King who desires life, and write us in the book of life for Your sake, Living God.

Of course we’re asking for life - after all, everyone wants to live! But what is “for Your sake” doing in there?

Life without God has no meaning. It is only when I live my life in a Godly fashion that my life takes on purpose.

I am asking Hashem for life not because I want to eat, drink and be merry, but rather so that I can serve Hashem.

Actions are important; intention is crucial!!

Practical Bitachon

You can turn any type of work or effort into a Bitachon moment! Just remind yourself that success and failure are determined by Hashem, and your effort is just a necessary tool, not the real cause.

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Effort vs. Trust and How to Make Decisions

This past Shabbos, my third-grader related a beautiful Torah thought that he learned in school. As soon as I heard it, I knew I had to share it on the Bitachon Blog!

The Torah teaches that if you see someone loading an animal with packages, you should help the owner to load the animal. However, if the owner does not assist, then you are not required to load the packages either.

So too, Hashem wants to help us with our work, with our endeavors. However, we must try as well. If we don’t try, then Hashem will not help us either.

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Effort vs. Trust

This idea touches on the age old balancing act between Effort and Trust.

Bitachon requires that I believe that everything that happens comes from Hashem. What I have or lack, what happens to me, my health, my job, my family - is all decided by Hashem.

But Bitachon also requires that I do my fair share. If I want Hashem to help me out, I had better show that I am trying as hard as I can. The passerby only has to help load if the owner is working too!

What exactly is “Effort”?

Effort means to try your best within reason.

Imagine you ask you child to clean his room. You recognize that this may be a difficult task for him to perform all on his own, and you offer to help him. What would you expect from your child?

Personally, I would expect to see active involvement. I am happy to guide, advise, and even sweep up the mess, as long as the child is working with me.

If he is throwing things away, picking clothes up off the floor, and returning toys to their places, I am thrilled to sort, collect, and pick up along with him. But as soon as he sits down on his bed to watch me work, I am done helping.

What one might expect from his child is a good barometer to measure what God expects from us. Hashem understands that we can't do it alone. But if we sit on the couch and put our feet up thinking that “God will provide!”, we may be in for a big surprise! Hashem will assist us, provided that we are working too.

Decision Making

There are 2 general types of decisions, and each requires a different approach:

1. Material matters

   When it comes to making decisions in the physical realm, it is often hard to know which choice will lead you to success.

   For example, you have an opportunity to buy a house. The real estate market fluctuates, and you cannot know whether the house will go up or down in value. Proper effort would require you to do some research and find out whether the market is expected to rise or fall. Once you have all the information in front of you, you must make an educated decision based on what your eyes can see.

   Let’s say you decided to pass on the house because an expert advised you that the market was likely to fall. You made the right decision based on research and expert opinion.

   It soon becomes apparent that the market has not fallen at all; it has skyrocketed beyond anyone’s expectations.

   

   This is where Bitachon comes in. You did your part - you put in your reasonable effort in making the decision. Whatever actually happens is due to Hashem’s decree. You did not make a bad decision; Hashem decided you were not meant to have that profit.

   Conversely, if you bought it and made a windfall on it, you still need to have Bitachon and attribute the success to Hashem. Your gain is also only because Hashem willed it to be so.

   (Needless to say, if you bought the house and its value dropped, you will need a large dose of Bitachon! As long as you did your proper effort before buying it, you need not feel bad about the loss, or feel that you made a bad decision. Here too, the loss was Hashem’s decree.)

2. Spiritual matters

   In the spiritual realm, you still have to put in your effort - lots of it.

   There is a major difference, though, when it comes to making decisions.

   In the physical realm, we have no way of knowing what is ultimately the right choice. In the spiritual realm, however, we do have a way of knowing what is right!

   Hashem gave us an instruction manual - the Torah! - to guide and teach us, to tell us what is right. The excuse “I just did what I thought would be best” doesn’t work, because we have the actual answer available to us!

   It is true that not everyone has sufficient Torah knowledge to come to the correct conclusion. But everyone has access to someone who does have that knowledge. Hashem provided us with Rabbis who are learned and experienced. They can and will happily answer our questions and guide us. Our proper effort is to learn or to ask!

   For example, you would like to take advantage of a great deal caused by a pricing error, but you are not sure whether this is ethical or not.

   Even though you may not personally know the answer, there is no need to guess! Is this permitted by halacha (Torah law) or not? You can find out the answer by calling a reliable Rabbi.

Practical Bitachon

1. Don’t use “Well that must be what Hashem wanted” as an excuse. You are responsible to put in a reasonable effort! If after all your efforts, you still fail, then “that must be what Hashem wanted”.

2. Regarding material decisions, do your due diligence and then decide according to what seems best. Hashem will take it from there!

3. Concerning spiritual matters, if you don’t know what is the right thing to do, ASK! (Tip: the more you study yourself, the better position you will be in to know what to ask, or how to ask! Sometimes relating all the pertinent details clearly can make all the difference!)

Discussion:

What do you  think constitutes a “reasonable effort”?

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Parnassa (Livelihood) vs. Passion: A Follow-Up to "Choosing the Right Profession - the Bitachon Way"

In response to last week’s discussion about "Choosing the Right Profession - the Bitachon Way" , someone asked me an interesting question:

Must a person always derive his livelihood from his passion? I know someone who works in what he loves most: Jewish outreach. But he doesn’t make ends meet! Wouldn’t he be better off going into any standard type profession and pursuing his passion in his spare time?

Each person is unique, so there is no one answer that will fit all. Here are my thoughts on the topic; I hope they will help you navigate your own situation.

1. If not something you love, at least something you like (a lot)

   While it is wonderful to support yourself through your passion, I am not advocating that this must be the case for everyone.

   However, most people do have certain subject matters that they find more interesting than others. A person should choose a profession that interests him and is suited to his abilities.

   For example, my father is an expert in the anti-fraud/anti-money-laundering field. That doesn’t mean that he spends all his free time figuring out new ways to stop fraud, but he definitely enjoys his work! When he talks about what he does, he is clearly animated. As he tells me about a conference where he spoke, I can see that this excites him. His work suits him well, even if it is not his number one passion in life.

2. Something you’re good at

   Sometimes insufficient livelihood is due to a Heavenly decree; God has decided that this person will not have much money.

   But consider a situation where a person has chosen to do something he is just not good at! (This is a tricky one, because often the person thinks he is great at what he does while the reality is otherwise.) In this case, he can hardly blame God! Part of Bitachon is the requirement for a person to try his best. Expecting to make money by doing something you’re not good at is not trying your best!

   “A person should choose a profession that takes into account his unique physical and intellectual makeup, as well as his natural talents and abilities.”  
   (From The Bitachon Blog: Choosing the Right Profession - the Bitachon Way)

3. It’s the choice, not the profession

   

   In every field, some people are successful and others are not. There are blue collar workers who manage well and there are white collar workers who cannot make ends meet.

   If things are not working out, it may be that the person is not well suited to the profession that he chose. Another person might do just fine in the same profession, but it was a poor choice for this particular person.

4. Personality or Passion?

   Perhaps the reason a person is not able to make a living doing his passion has to do more with his personality and habits than his career choice. In other words, maybe what is holding him back from success at this job will hold him back from success at a job in any other area as well.

   Does he show up late to every meeting?  
   Is he hard to get along with?  
   Does he have strange quirks that annoy his superiors and co-workers?
   Is he too aggressive?  
   Does he leave at 5:00 PM when everyone else is working late?        
   Is he afraid to talk to the people he works with?    
   Does he spend all his time talking instead of working?  
   Is he a poor communicator?

   Even if he changes his profession, his character and acquired habits will follow him. It may be that something needs to change, but the something may or may not be his job!

5. Temporary setbacks vs Never had success to begin with

   The following flow diagram is based on the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart):

   

   Here's a text version of the flow chart, in case you can't see it:

   Choosing a Profession
   You naturally desire a particular type of work
   

   • You are physically suited for this type of work
   • You are able to withstand the rigors of this type of work
   Then . . .
   Go for it!
   • Make that professions the means for acquiring your livelihood
   • Accept both the sweet and the bitter that come along with your chosen profession
   • Don't be disgusted when you don't have work occasionally; rather trust in Hashem that He will provide your sustenance all your life

   (Gate of Trust, chapter 3, third paragraph from the end, starting from the second sentence)

   Notice the word “occasionally”.  Perhaps when the problem is constant, and not “occasional”, it is time for a person to reassess the situation!

6. Not intended for wealth

   

   Sometimes, a person has faithfully tried his best to choose a suitable profession, but still does not achieve financial stability. In this case, it may be that God is purposely withholding livelihood from him. (This may happen for a variety of reasons. Perhaps we will tackle that in a future post!)

   Hashem created a world in which some people are rich and others are poor. If despite genuine efforts a person still finds he is unable to support himself, he should accept that this is Hashem's will for him. He should continue to contribute his effort, but realize that the outcome will be whatever Hashem has decreed for him.

What are your thoughts about this? Do you think he should stick with it or find another career? What other factors may come into play?

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