He Who Is Happy: A Bitachon Approach to "Things" and "Stuff"

Recently, we received a mailing from Oorah. Oorah is a non-profit organization which specializes in Jewish outreach.

Every year, Oorah conducts a huge Chinese Auction as a fundraiser for their many programs. The mailing we received was the prize list and details for the auction.

My son was reading the prizes with great interest.

“You can win a trip to Israel, all the technological devices you can dream of, a vacation … and here’s a dining room set! A new custom sheitel (wig), silver candelabra, jewelry, a kosher cruise … so many great prizes!” he exclaimed. He animatedly read all the prize descriptions aloud, expressing special interest in some.

I must preface what I am about to write by telling you that our family does support Oorah because of the phenomenal work that they do. And I certainly wouldn’t complain if I won free mortgage payments, electricity, gas, or groceries for a year!

But I felt it was important at the same time to express

Suffering as a Preparation for Something Greater

Delayed gratification is “the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward” (Wikipedia).

Examples:

1. On a diet

   

   I can eat the chocolate bar (instant gratification), or I can resist the temptation now and have a favorable reading on the scale later (delayed gratification).

2. Study habits

   

   I can party with my friends, pass notes, and daydream during class (instant gratification), or I can pay attention in class and study hard now so that I can attend the college of my choice later (delayed gratification).

Needless to say, it is easier to delay gratification when you know that the gratification will eventually come. A third grader may not really understand or care why it is so important to succeed in school. University is many years away, and college applications are not on his mind yet!

However, in real life, we often don’t know when the gratification will come. We see only the sacrifice and denial of the moment. We wonder if the good will ever arrive.

Come Close to Me: Drawing Near to God Through Suffering

The Torah tells us that our foremothers, Sara, Rivka, and Rachel were barren. (Actually, it appears from the verse that Leah was initially unable to conceive as well, until Hashem “ … opened her womb”. See Rashi, Genesis 29:31.) It is no coincidence that they all had this challenge in common. The Midrash tells us:

…Why were the foremothers barren? … Hashem desired their prayers. Hashem said, “They are wealthy, they are beautiful - if I give them children, they won’t pray to me!” (Tanchuma Toldos 9)

When things are going well, we often forget about Hashem. However, when there are bumps along the road, we call out to God for help.

Though Mr. Gold was Sabbath observant all his life, he never really felt “close” to God. He went through all the motions, doing mitzvos and avoiding sin, but the real connection was just never there.

Tools of the Trade

This post is a continuation in the series on “Why Bad Things Happen To Good (and All) People”.

See also the earlier articles in this series:
Why Bad Things Happen to Good People - Why not?
The Secret to Dealing With Perceived Injustice in This World
5 Reasons That Good People Suffer (Part 2 of The Secret to Dealing with Perceived Injustice in This World)

Now that we understand the question and have completed the 5 reasons offered by the Chovos Halevavos (Duties of the Heart), I would like to offer some additional possibilities.

Today’s topic is my personal “favorite” reason why bad things sometimes happen to good people. In my opinion, understanding this idea is so crucial that I gave it its own post. (Okay, it was also getting too long to talk about anything else!). More ideas to follow soon.

Recently, my sister and I were discussing cupcakes. I maintained that pouring the batter into the muffin tins just took too long; it was not even worth baking them. 

My sister thought for a moment and replied, “You’re right! I used to think so too! But then I got a cupcake dispenser. You just pour the batter into the dispenser and ‘click, click, click’, quickly drop all the batter into cupcakes.”

Having the right tools is essential. For some tasks, you can manage with an inferior tool, but it will take longer or it might be more difficult. Other tasks cannot be accomplished at all without the proper instruments.

In the above example, cupcake batter can be poured from a measuring cup or spoon, albeit slowly and messily. However, without muffin tins or good cupcake holders, you might be hard-pressed to bake any cupcakes at all!

Everything I have is a tool I can use to reach my potential. Some tools are lovely, like a cupcake holder, while others are not so pleasant, or even painful.