Wisdom of Teeth

Four of them, to be exact

Sometimes I complain that there’s too much to do. Sometimes I wish that I had the day to myself. Sometimes I dream of peace and quiet . . .

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The Best Worst News

One day, about two weeks ago, I noticed that my eight year old son’s tooth was crooked. It was one of his top, front teeth, and it was jutting out at a thirty-degree angle.

I did not remember it always being this way. It was rather obvious - hard to miss, really. How could I not have seen it until now?

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The following is a guest post by my friend Rivkah. Though it was written prior to Yom Kippur, the message is timeless.

Who Am I and What Am I Fighting For?

It’s Wednesday night, September 11th, 2013. Yom Kippur is on Friday night; 48 hours to go. I just returned from a very inspirational speech, given by Mr. Charlie Harrari in one of the shuls in town. He talked about many different things, but one thing he repeatedly mentioned is that as Jews - and especially as Jews on Yom Kippur - we need to remember one thing: who we are and what we are fighting for.

Recognizing God in the World

He discussed that the thing that makes us special, the thing that makes us Hashem’s chosen people is that we take everything in this world and we try to understand and publicize G-d’s connection to it. We wear a new outfit, we say a brocho. We put something in our mouths, we say a brocho. We get married, have children, get saved from a life threatening situation – we say a brocho and acknowledge that G-d is involved in that situation, in our lives and in this world. So often we see Hashem’s hand in the events of our lives and we thank Him for all His assistance.

Mr. Harari contrasted that with Amalek. Amalek is a nation written about in the Torah who has proven time and again that his goal in life is to completely wipe the Jewish people off of the planet. As Mr. Harari explained, Amalek is all about removing G-d from this world. He is about enjoying the pleasures of this world for pleasure’s sake. He is about wanting more and forgetting who you are in order to attain it. And that is why he cannot stand us. That is why his ultimate goal is to destroy us.

Today was an emotional day in the New York area. This morning there was a ceremony that lasted over 5 hours. The majority of that time was spent just reading the names of and remembering the more than 3,000 people whose lives were cut short on this same date 12 years ago. The names were all read by family members of the people who were lost on that day. The ceremony is always emotional and the pain that these family members continue to feel just adds to the tragedy that began on that Tuesday morning 12 years ago.

This, too, is for the best!

There was so much pain on that day. But if all we can see is the pain, then all we are seeing is Amalek. There also has to be G-d who can be found on that day.

The Gemarah brings down 2 quotes. One comes from a great man named Nachom Ish Gam Zu. Whenever anything happened to him he always said that “This too is for the best”. The other quote came from the great sage Rabbi Akiva. He said “Everything that G-d does is good”

While at first pass these quotes may seem identical, the difference between the two is amazing. Both quotes signify different levels in our faith in G-d that we should be trying to attain. While the first quote is basically saying that everything that comes from G-d will eventually turn out for the best, the second quote is saying that everything, right here and right now is good. We may not see it; we may not understand it; but we have to know in our hearts that it is good.

So where was the good in those terror attacks? Some found the good in all of the amazing stories of people who were usually in the twin towers at the time of the attacks, but for some reason weren’t there yet. Whether it was the group of people who were fired the week before, the father who went with his son to get his cast removed, or the father who was filling out a form for his family. All of these are amazing and miraculous stories, but they are looking at the situation as “This too is for the best”. The weakness of looking at things in this way is there are also stories where the opposite occurred. People who weren’t ‘supposed’ to be there but were, like the woman who had her job interview rescheduled from the prior week; or the tourists who were vacationing that day; or the guy who was rescheduled onto one of the doomed flights. They also had the Divine hand leading them; but the hand was leading them to be caught in the storm. So where is the good in their circumstances? Is the situation good or is it bad?

That’s where Rabbi Akiva’s beliefs come in. These situations aren’t good because eventually good comes out of them or because they cause something in the future to happen, which is good. Every situation has both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ coming out of it. These situations are good because they are good. G-d is all good so everything he does is plain and simply good. I am not at the level where I can see the September 11th attacks as good. I don’t know why they had to happen. I don’t know why so many people still need to feel so much pain as a result of them. In my gut it doesn’t feel good. But I do believe that Rabbi Akiva would be able to look at even this situation and see it as good.

Choosing Right, Feeling Right

Recently an incident happened at work. A mistake was made, and I had a choice: keep quiet and pretend I didn’t notice anything, or accept responsibility.

Even though it was really difficult, and I knew that there would be negative consequences, I made what I thought was the honest and ethical choice. As a result of my choice there were repercussions that I, and worse, even others were forced to pay. I felt that these consequences were exaggerated and unfair (especially to those who should never have been punished) and this caused me to feel a lot of guilt and anger.

I walked away from this incident feeling like I made the wrong choice. That choosing what I still believed to be the ethical path was the wrong decision and if I had to do it all over again I should and would chose the unethical path.

I realized tonight that feeling this way is letting Amalek win. That is exactly how they want the world to operate. They want a world without G-d, which means that they want a world without morals and values, and they definitely want a world where people regret having morals and values. We have a Torah obligation to wipe them out. This means that even when it seems impossible, we have to fight for what we know is right. We have to know what’s moral and ethical and we have to do everything in our power to try and live up to those values.

As Yom Kippur arrives, I am still not totally sure of who I am. I think that I will have to spend a lifetime answering that question. What I hope to be in the coming year is the type of person who can see the good and the type of person who will fight for connection with Hashem. I also hope to be the type of person who will be able to show others G-d’s connection to the events in this world. I pray that we will all be able to look at any ‘bad’ situation and see it as good. Not just by looking for the eventual good outcomes, but by truly seeing it as good.

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Sometimes Pain Isn't Bad

Case in point:

I recently gave birth to a darling little baby girl. (Perhaps you have noticed the posts slowing down to a trickle?)

I enjoyed the perfect natural labor for which I had been hoping and preparing. My doctor was supportive, the hospital staff respected my wishes. I was thrilled with every aspect.

But let me tell you, BOY WAS IT PAINFUL!

And yet, it was perfect.

Sound like a contradiction?

It’s not, really.

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